We have a small group at work...one supervisor, seven workers and one janitor! Eight out of nine of these people are WOMEN! Not GIRLS but...WOMEN!!! Four of the workers are in their 50s, three in their later 40s and one in the early 40s. These eight people are all women! Up until a few weeks ago our janitors have been female. We now have a young "pip squeak" as a janitor. He actually isn't all that much of a pip squeak but we love to pick on him. At the beginning I told him to be prepared...we would be dishing out a lot...more than just lunch! He said he wasn't worried and that he could take care of himself! This young man is in his 20s, is married and has a little girl. I even warned his wife that we would be "getting" him when he least expected it...he just laughed!
At lunch we talk of movies, past jobs, personal stories etc. The jokes and comments fly. We enjoy each others company for 20 to 30 minutes. We pick on each other for all of the faux pas that happen to each and every one of us. So we joke around with our "rubber band man"...think of a rubber band accidently coming off of a trash can and where it could do the maximum amount of damage to a "young man". Many nick names come from this for a while. As we continue to talk about work we will bring up questions, ideas and other assorted comments such as..."I have everything done on the list that is supposed to be done each week; this is my second day! What am I going to do now?" Later on that question was answered when the baker pointed out that if he had time on his hands he could clean the vent over the dishwasher. This was done the next day and the jokes and the war escalated from there.
In the process of trying to get cereal from one large bag into numerous smaller bags quite a few pieces of cereal end up on the floor...along with other pieces of food being prepped for breakfast. Our nice "boy" (the name "boy" came from the fact that a few of the workers, including our supervisor, could not remember his name.. He them became "the boy", "kitchen boy" and "my boy") asked one day at lunch if there was cereal on the floor again...answered yes but they would clean it up...no, it's OK I'll do it! Escalation #1 --- take pieces of cereal and write on them...eat me, bite me, etc. and then on a small pancake that fell on the floor...oops! I thought I fell far enough on the floor to be under the counter...then put it back on the floor to be found in the process of sweeping!
As our "boy" is laughing at this he is trying to figure out how to get revenge. What can he do to get even with this...why of coarse...let's staple all of the bags of cereal shut! Morning comes. Time to get the cereal out. What the... Out comes the stapler and our breakfast lead goes to the janitor's closet and staples all of the rags together and the "table" mop heads are also stapled together...Revenge is after all...very, very sweet! As this is discussed throughout the day we find that he thought he was so funny that he kept breaking out in giggles while lying in bed. When asked by his wife what was so funny he explained that he stapled the cereal bags shut. We now realize his wife will never look at us quite the same again. It usually takes a while for outsiders or "newbies" to figure out just how demented we are as a group. We just broke our record!
Now our "boy" wants to get back at the baker also...she on the other hand is trying to figure out how to get to him...after all if he went after her co-hort in crime he will probably come after her...she must work fast. What our "boy" didn't realize is that one of his co-workers helped set up the prank. Our baker has a long counter at which she works but only has a small mat on which to stand. The mat gets moved around quite a bit. For whatever reason this really gets to him to the point that he really wants to glue it down...can't be done...ruin the floor as well as the mat. The baker wins by making her move first...let's take a big scoop of flour and put it under the mat. He will have to move the mat to sweep taking quite a bit of the flour with it making the mess bigger by his own hand! Flour is a pain to sweep up. He will not only have to sweep but will have to scrub the floor and both sides of the mat also!
As a few of us are in the process of setting things up for the supper crowd you all of a sudden hear our "boy" bellow out our bakers name. He vows revenge. As he is ranting about what has happened his co-worker informs him that she was in on the set- up. The supervisor comes out at this point to find out what is going on...gets an ear full and automatically wonders/fears this "cafeteria war" escalating to something bigger and "badder". "It's all in fun!" "Everything will be fine."
I serve lunch at the Middle School. My partner and I have students who help us serve out lunch --- this is done for service hours to earn money for their 8th grade ski trip. We also have students who help with clean up work --- these kids are either from detention or are working off time for eating in the halls. These kids always seem to think that as "lunch ladies" we have a very boring job, don't we get tired of doing the same old thing every day! It is so hard to get them to understand that any job can become boring...it is all what you make of it...we just happen to make it fun...it's time for...CAFETERIA WAR'S!!!
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